Titled: "Women"s Prose-Commonplace Book" (2011-11) From English 3816

 

Carmelo Bono

Dr. Rachel Warburton

Women’s Prose

November 17, 2011

My Commonplace Book

 

Category 1: Women’s Role as the Mother

1. “My children, when I did truly weigh, rightly consider, and perfectly see the great care, labour, travail, and continual study which parents take to enrich their children – some wearing their bodies with labour, some breaking their sleeps with care, some sparing from their own bellies, and many hazarding their souls, some by bribery, some by simony, others by perjury, and a multitude by ursury, some stealing on the sea, others begging by land portions from every poor man, not caring if the whole commonwealth be impoverished so their children be enriched” ( Dorothy Leigh, The Mother’s Blessing: Ch.1 The Occasion of Writing This Book Was the Consideration of the Care of Parents for their Children, 1-8)

Many women would do anything for their children’s well being. My two younger siblings and I grew up with everything, my family owned a successful construction company. From the company my father and mother as well as my grandparents would spoil me rotten. The business went under after awhile leaving us very limited spending money, yet my parents and grandparents still tried do everything for my siblings and I. As we grew up without the spoiling from the family business we found it hard at times. My family and I moved into the countryside because of the business going under. The transition was extremely hard to make fro all of us. Not just physically hard, but mentally as well. Not only did we have to be start earning our own money for the things we wanted but we had to work outside to help around the house. I know it sounds silly to hear that, it was hard from having everything handed to you, as to now just having everything and anything extra needed to be earned. But in seriousness it is a hard transition of lifestyle to make, especially only being in grade 2 or 3 fully grasping yet why things are they way they are and how things work. I went from having the nicest mother on the face of the world when I was younger to having the most stressed out snap case parent I have ever seen. She has her times as most parents do, but until you have been in the situation don’t judge. The point I am trying to make is that even after parents loose everything, they still want to give whatever is left to their kids.

2. “My dearest son, there is nothing so strong as the force of the love, there is no love so forcible as the love of an affectionate mother to her natural child, there is no mother can either more affectionately show her nature or more experience to eschew evil and incline them to do that which is good.” (Elizabeth Grymeston, Miscellanea, Meditations, Memoratives: The Epistle To Her Loving Son Bernye Grymeston, 1-5)

The love of a mother is a powerful and very unstable thing. A mother’s love is something that if her child uses incorrectly, it unwind the universe. Growing up, I found that my mom always had my side, even when I lied to her about the situation (of course she didn’t know). When she found out I was lying, I was dead meat. Everyone tells me today how it is so odd that my mother and I fight like a cat and dog, yet when I was a toddler I was always with her and would not leave her side. Women are viewed as the earth, mother to all and unconditionally loving. For the most part there is nothing that could ever make a mother give up her child. In the centuries before the twentieth, before overwhelming numbers of unplanned teen pregnancies, extreme drug abuse, and prostitution, children were the mother’s reason for being when she had her child. It was both empowering and weakening. In one hand a mother is showing her power and responsibility in society by nourishing the children who will be “the leaders of tomorrow”. But in the other hand, men would consider women empty vessels until they were child-bearing, at that point they became valuable only because of the life inside of them. This was due to the father’s kinship, or working hands around the homestead. Aristotle was the flag bearer in the argument of women’s worthlessness.

3. “For it is the express ordinance of God that mothers should nurse their own children, and being his ordinance, they are bound to it in conscience. This should stop the mouths of all repliers. For God is most wise and therefore must needs know what is fittest and best for us to do.”(Elizabeth Clinton, From the Countess of Lincoln’s Nursery, 11-15)

In Western civilization today, women have the option to breastfeed or formula feed. One may not realize it, but women are still greatly criticized amongst one another for choosing one or the other. On a naturalistic view on the topic, women’s breasts were the only source of child nutrition before there was formula, until substitutions (formula) were introduced. Women have the right to choose how they feed their child regardless of what anyone says in contrast to it. Nursing is a sacred bond that links physically and emotionally, the mother and child. The child learns that it’s mother’s breasts are food source (therefore mother takes care of her child, is how the child will register that). It is also a way that woman nourish their young, for with out the woman, there would be no man (realistically, mother teaches the child how to feed and interact with it’s environment). At the early stages of a baby’s life, they are going through a psychological phase in which the baby is unaware of distinction of itself and the objects in its environment (preverbal).

4. “I had experience of a gentlewoman, niece unto my father, and brought up by my mother from her childhood, whom afterward she trusted to be governor over her own children. She proved very religious, wise, and chaste, and all good virtues that might be in a woman were constantly settled in her; for from her youth she made good use of all things that ever she did read, see, or hear, so that she could give wise counsel upon any occasion.” (Grace, Lady Mildmay, From Autobiogoraphy, 98-105)

Mothers are seen as role models not just for young women, but young men as well. Many young men end up marrying a woman who is very similar to his mother, whether he is aware of it or not. Regardless of a son’s other influences, the mother will always be his greatest concern. Maybe not even has realized it yet, but sons kill to avenge mother’s, as we see in popular culture, mothers can even convince their sons to kill people for no reason at all (Psycho, Friday the 13^th, and Sons of Anarhcy). However, today we still see many daughters who model themselves after their mother. My youngest cousin, who at the time of this story was 6, dressed in her mother’s clothing during a family get together. My Aunt, was a fashion model for a local clothing store back home and would always tell her daughter about her picture taking clothes and her job as a model. Every family get together we happen to take a family photo, and my cousin got the idea to where my aunt’s “picture taking clothes” for the family photo. Idolization, is how one can describe the meaning of this quote.

Category 2: Women and Religion

1. “I professed Christ in my baptism when I began to live, But I swerved from him after baptism in continuance of my living, even as the heathen which never had began. Christ was innocent and void of all sin, and I wallowed in filthy sin and was free from no sin. Christ was obedient unto his father even to the death of the cross, and I disobedient and most stubborn even to the confusion of truth. Christ was meek and humble in heart, and I most proud and vainglorious. Christ despised the world with all the vanities thereof, and I made it my god because of the vanities. Christ came to serve his brethren, and I coveted to rule over them…how far I was from Christ  and without Christ” (Katherine Parr, The Lamentation of a Sinner, 23-31, 38-39)

 

This excerpt from Katherine Parr’s The Lamentation of a Sinner is a confession of how she felt about her Protestantism. In her work she moves from being shamed by it, to trying to convince her readers to convert as well. She writes quite opposite to that of Anne Askew in the sense that Anne was quite proud to be a Protestant. I feel that an injustice is done here against women religiously by limiting them to Christianity, especially when they do not believe in it. Not to mention the only reason Parr lived after she was found guilty of heresy was because she bowed down to Henry. This excerpt makes me feel that what Parr said is how she was made to feel by everyone around her. It is still common today to find kids who are forced into believing a certain religion, and if they deny or speak ill of it the parents discipline them. The quote seems to be an important part to the work especially if it is being read by a Christian because it is the “bowing down” aspect of the writing that creates sympathy and preludes the punch line. I find it rather poor in manner that the only way Parr is able to live or possibly convince people to convert is to bow down before them (metaphorically). Usually if a man tried to convert people or just switch religions, it is his choice and he is able to do so in a less messy fashion that that of women.

2. “whether a mouse eating the host received god or no. This questions did I never ask, but indeed they asked it of me, whereunto I made them no answer, but smiled. Then the Bishop’s chancellor rebuked me and said that I was much ot blame for uttering the scriptures. For St. Paul, he said, forbade women to speak or to talk of the word of God. I answered him that I knew Paul’s meaning so well as he, which is (1 Corinthians 14) that a woman ought not to speak in the congregation by the way of teaching. And then I asked him how many women he had seen go into the pulpit and preach. He said he never saw none. Then I said he ought to find no fault in poor women except they had offended the law. Then my lord Mayor commanded me to ward. I asked him if sureties would not serve me. And he made me short answer, that he would take none. Then was I had to the Counter and there remained twelve days, no friend admitted to speak with me. (Anne Askew, The First Examination, 43-57)

Anne Askew makes it very clear what kind of treatment she is receiving for choosing to be a Protestant, shackles and segregation. Askew is a proud woman and is not willing to settle for anything less than her recognition. She reminds me of Joan of Arc in that sense. Joan of Arc, died a heretic because she believed she was able to hear the voice of god (well that is the reasoning behind it, stories tell us otherwise). Even after she was offered forgiveness and freedom from the flames and damnation, she refused because she believed it was true. Askew believes in Protestantism and is being persecuted for it, even though she should have the freedom of religion.

3. “Adam for this cause being cast into a very heavy sleep, God, extracting a rib from his side, thereof made or built woman, showing thereby that man was an unperfect building afore woman was made, and, bringing her unto Adam, united and married them together.” (Rachel Speght, A Muzzle for Melastomus, 13-16)

Adam was created in the image of God, to rule over everything in the land but unfortunately was unmatched intellectually. So God created Eve from his rib, now humans could procreate like the other creatures. According to the creation story Eve then took a fruit from the tree of knowledge making her a scapegoat for Adam. When God appears he questions Eve, she openly admits to making the mistake as Adam stood quiet and shamefully. Adam allowed Eve to take the fall; yet again it is demonstrated that women need to take care of men since they can not seem to live up to their own mistake. In religion, because of the creation story, women are portrayed as ill in spirit and tainted at heart. I would like to add, that if these innately bad people are giving birth to us and raising us, we must be taught evil as we grow up and thus be evil ourselves. This story is one of the many in history that paint women with terrible colours, but it is held up with rotten wood in wet sand, it can be knocked down. We just need to see past it.

4. “1 In mornings when you rise, forget not to commend

Yourselves to God, beseeching him from dangers to defend

Your souls and bodies both, your parents and your friends,

Your teachers and your governors. So pray you that your ends

May be in such a sort as God may pleased be:

To live to die, to die to live, with him eternally. (Isabella Whitney, An Order Prescribed by Isabella Whitney to Two of her Younger Sisters Serving in London, 5-10)

Isabella Whitney makes it quite clear to readers that religion is the best way to keep a person in order. In the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, people were threatened with religion, mostly because religion was basically law. This quote tells me that religion was so extremely powerful back that no one dared to look past it. To know why that is true, all one needs to do is look at those in power of the hierarchy. It seems as though religion was a tool to keep people in check for the most part but more specifically, women.

Category 3: The Manner that Men Think of Women in

1. “Such Delivery as I have made I hope thou wilt friendly accept, the rather for that it is a woman’s work, though in a story profane and a matter more manlike than becometh my sex. But as for manliness of the matter, thou knowest that it is not necessary for every trumpeter or drumsler in the war to be a good fighter….I trust every man holds not the plough which would the ground were tilled, and it is no sin to talk of Robin Hood though you never shot in his bow; or be it that the attempt were bold to intermeddle in arms (so as the ancient Amazons did, and in this story of Claridiana doth, and in other stories not a few)” (Margaret Tyler, The Mirror of Princely Deeds and Knighthood, 18-32)

In the beginning of this excerpt of Margaret Tyler, I notice that she mentions her hope of her translation not to be dismissed merely because of her sex. I feel this speaks strongly about how women are/were treated. The men of her time were scorning her as well because the work she translated could have made more money if it were not translated into Spanish. For a woman to write, especially write this was inappropriate or unchaste. Tyler takes her accusations a step further when she claims that men should not be mad at women, nor should they discourage women to do anything for that matter. Her evidence that women are just as capable as men is that men who are incurable and unwell (therefore not as strong as some women), are held in higher respect than to that of women. It almost seems to me that Tyler thinks that the power is passed on through those who can take care of themselves or others with their strength and ability. She seems to understand a bit that it is a hierarchy of sexes not body types and burliness. Tyler’s other examples of men acting hypocritically are the reference to men who never shot Robin Hoods Bow yet write and talk about it; and men who have never tilled untouched land (partook in real labour).

2. “We are the grief of man, in that we take all the grief from man; we languish when they laugh, we lie sighing when they sit singing, and sit sobbing when they lie slugging and sleeping.” (Jane Anger, Jane Anger Her Protection for Women: A Protection For Women, etc., 71-73)  

In 1954 there was a home economics book that was used in a high school classroom and in it was a lesson on “How to be A Good Housewife”. One of the tips in the lesson was “not to trouble him with matters or questions, he worked long and hard all day and needs to relax”. This “tip” can be related to an earlier writing “The Angel in the House” by Virginia Woolf. The Angel in the House theory identically claimed that after a wife’s husband comes in from work, he should be greeted and helped with his things, from which she should help him relax and cleanse his soul because he was outside in the sin-filled streets all day. Women are expected to be there for men, not so much now as they were in earlier years. By “be there for men” I mean, they are expected to have dinner cooked, to not ask a bunch of questions, to leave her husband alone and take of the children. This quote can be directly related to relationships today in which the women are expected to stay home and become full time housewives or mothers. No woman should be confined to such a life unless she wishes that upon herself. The part where Anger says he is singing while she is signing is possibly referring to how when men are entertaining or speaking, women should not interrupt. The final part of the quote is referencing either; when a man is sleeping or busy with something else he is not paying attention to his wife, or when is finally rested she may take a break and all she wants to do is cry.

3. “Marry with none except you love her, and be not changeable in your love. Let nothing, after you have made your choice, remove your love from her; for it is an ungodly and very foolish thing of a man to mislike his own choice, especially since God hath given a man much a choice among the godly;” (Dorothy Leigh, The Mother’s Blessing: Ch.12 Choice of Wives, 11-15)

Men seem to think that they have the right to choose their wives with no questions asked in centuries previous to the 19^th century. Men today are magical if they have a select few women from which he may choose to marry at a time. Women have developed a sense of self and independence since the time where they “were hopeless against his charm and social status”. I like this quote because it is Leigh’s way of tell her son not to mislike because may have grown up with that norm of the time. Men and women still make the mistake of marrying one whom they do not love today. However I feel like there will always be fools until the problem of lust and desire have been solved (spoiler alert! It won’t ever be solved).

4. “After I prayed privately, I dressed a poor boy’s leg that came to me, and then brake my fast with Mr. Hoby: after, I dressed the hand of one of our servants that was very sore cut, and after I writ in my testament notes upon James: then I went about the doing of some things in the house, paying of bills, and after I had talked with Mr. Hoby, I went to examination and prayer, after to supper, then to the lecture: after that I dressed one of the men’s hands that was hurt, lastly prayed, and so to bed.” (Margaret, Lady Hoby, From the Diary of Margaret, Lady Hoby: Wednesday 30 January, 42-48)

Lady Hoby is portraying The Angel in the House theory much like how Jane Anger explains how women live and act for men. We also have a glimpse how women are expected to care for men, even when fully grown. A woman of such high stature is helping people below her because by nature in their social constructed society, she is a care giver.

Category 4:  Women and Marriage

1. “Marry in thine own rank, and seek especially in it thy contentment and preferment. Let her neither be so beautiful as that every liking eye shall level at her, nor yet so brown as to bring thee to a loathed bed.” (Elizabeth Grymeston, Miscellanea, Meditations, Memoratives: The Epistle To Her Loving Son Bernye Grymeston, 37-39)

Grymeston is telling her future son to marry within his own rank, and to marry a beautiful white girl. This quote provides me with the idea of how much time has changed yet how real this is. I have elderly figures which disprove of interracial mixing. Yet I have many friends and family who are married to someone of a different ethnicity who bares very different physical features. I hope my son or daughter is one day able to love anyone regardless of anything (as long as they are not dead or an animal).

2. “Let thy will be censured whether her desires have been chaste or, as a harlot, she have lusted after her own delights. Let thy thoughts be examined. If they be good, they are of the spirit (quench not the spirit); if bad, forbid them entrance, for once admitted, they straight-ways fortify and are expelled with more difficulty than not admitted;

Crush the Serpent in the head,

Break ill eggs ere they be hatched.

Kill bad chickens in the tread,

Fledge, they hardly can be catched.

In the rising, stifle ill,

Lest it grow against thy will” (Elizabeth Grymeston, Miscellanea, Meditations, Memoratives: The Epistle To Her Loving Son Bernye Grymeston, 54-64)

         Grymeston makes it clear what kind of woman she thinks her son should marry. A woman who is chaste is quite common in that time, even today many men like to marry someone whom they were the “first lover” to. She is trying to protect her son from being hurt emotionally or be taken for a fool by other women. However, I feel in doing that and keeping out all the “unchaste” women, one would never be aware of what one likes in a woman or if that woman is truly “unchaste”. In a marriage it should not be the things you hear about a person that make you like them, but the things they do and the person they are.

3. “The Lady [Sir Walter’s] wife was also a virtuous woman and dutiful to her husband, in all chastity, obedience, love, and fear towards him as ever I did know any, and she instructed me to become a faithful wife unto her son. Whereof there was great proof made in all their time by many afflictions and contrary occasions which fell betwixt me and my husband, and betwixt us and them.”(

         This quote is troubling because the lady of which she speaks, is one whom people hold in high regards. The reason this is troubling is because she is held in high regards because of her attitude towards her marriage and her qualities. A woman of this stature is influential on other women on a dangerous level in such a way that she would get in trouble for listening to her. But in a marriage, a woman should not be commended on her obedience to her husband, she should be commended on her team effort alongside her husband or for her portion of the work in the family, as well as vice versa. 

4. “I need not say if he served God, for if he served God he would obey God, and then he would choose a godly wife live lovingly and godlily with her, and not do as much as some man who taketh a woman to make her a companion and fellow, and after he hath her, he makes her a servant and drudge. If she by they wife, she is always too good to be thy servant, and worthy to be thy fellow.”(Dorothy Leigh, The Mother’s Blessing: Ch.13 It Is Great Folly For A Man To Mislike His Own Choice, 13-18)

         Leigh is trying to convince her son when he does marry, not to make her his slave, but to treat her like his fellow. This is important because most men, even today try to uphold that patriarchal presence in the family when in reality, it takes more than a man to run a family. I feel that if her son reads this it may not be enough, however because of the bond of mother and child I earlier mentioned, I think it is possible that he may.